Girl or boy? Does it matter? Gender disappointment is a real thing

Have you ever had a plan for how your family would be? So many of us do. We often start our big planning even though we’re little girls ourselves, imagining away how our very own family will look like one day. Plotting what life of being a mum to a little boy or a little girl will be like.


I used to dream of a perfect family, there was a space for a caring husband (obviously) and two children. As I have an older brother myself, I always thought having a son first and then a little girl to follow will be ideal. There’s this common belief that an older brother will be protective and caring of his little sister, and isn’t that just perfect?


I ticked the very first box on the list pretty quickly and found my loving husband. It was soon time for a little person to join us and make us a family. Was I surprised when an ultrasound revealed the gender and it was a little boy? Not one bit. Everything was going to plan (which was going to be perfect, right!?).


Family Photography in Swindon

I became a mum to a gorgeous little boy and it only set me more into my perception of life. Into my vision of a happy family, of my little world where I’m a mum and it’s exactly what it should be. We soon decided it’s time to expand our wee family and to me, it meant welcoming a little girl into our lives. A sweet baby sister for my beloved son!


I was quickly blessed with another healthy pregnancy and as soon as an ultrasound was scheduled I was excited and eager to hear this confirmation, that we’re expecting a baby girl. I was certain! I had so much evidence already from all angles of life, this pregnancy was so different in every way, a complete opposite to my first experience. I had no doubts. So the moment the consultant sonographer exclaimed “Congratulations! Your little boy will have a brother to play with!” it felt like a slap on the face.


Excuse me?! All the questions rushed through my head! It can’t be! Could she be mistaken?! There’s obviously a slim margin for a mistake with these ultrasounds, right? This little boy wasn’t a shy creature though, he happily unveiled his private parts on the screen leaving us with no doubts. The thought of being a mum to two boys started to set in and I couldn’t gather myself.


I know how this is going to sound but I’ll say it anyway, I felt crushed. It’s not that I was disappointed or unhappy (although it might have felt this way at the beginning). I was just terribly confused because now I had no plan.